Falling: Emerge

“Emerge” is a series of figure drawings that depict the long treatment process that began upon receiving a diagnosis. At the height of my depression, I was so deeply buried by the emotions that I could not separate myself from the disease. During treatment, the depression gradually began to fade away. As the emotions slowly left, I started being able to see myself clearly for the first time in my life. Contrary to my prior concerns about treatment, I felt more like myself than I ever had before. These drawings show this simultaneous process of the depression leaving as my true self emerges.

Even with ongoing treatment, improvements do not happen in a linear way. The process is unpredictable, continuous, and never ending. At times the emotions subside, on other days the depression is almost gone and occasionally it comes back in full force. Even on my best days, the depression is always there to some degree. For this reason, the anguished figures in these drawings never completely disappear. These emotions will always be with me in some capacity for the rest of my life.

The artworks consist of 7′ x 4′ figure drawings created with etching ink and lithographic crayon, 12″ x 9″ lithographic rubbing ink studies, and 24″ x 18″ monotypes.